9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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