Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize