You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
