he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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