if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Who died my cat blue again?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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