i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
