It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
