your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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