we have officially lost it.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
