oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize