Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
