Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Pants are for mortals
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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