Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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