i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
