Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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