and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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