trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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