It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
