i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
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Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
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Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters