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• (510): View more from California

  I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Are you high?

  (510): View more from California

  No. That's why it's odd

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar

  Fav 16 2228 922

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.

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• 

  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  the diet of an alcoholic...

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• (310): View more from California

  as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'

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• (585): View more from New York

  Why was I handcuffed to the roof?

  (518): View more from New York

  It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.

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• 

  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid

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• (516): View more from New York

  We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....

  Fav 4 701 548

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.

  Fav 2 714 387

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• (310): View more from California

  God, please protect all woman from micro-penises

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