Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279

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(281): # days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279 http://tfl.nu/pu81

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(815): View more from Illinois

I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low

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(815): I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low http://tfl.nu/wg0q

Replies (24) Good night (764) Bad night (4206)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?

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(603): You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular? http://tfl.nu/marg

Replies (7) Good night (2281) Bad night (556)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move

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(319): Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move http://tfl.nu/sk1v

Replies (15) Good night (4451) Bad night (539)
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(480): View more from Arizona

he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him

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(480): he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him http://tfl.nu/q5w1

Replies (60) Good night (6438) Bad night (951)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.

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(609): I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from. http://tfl.nu/yx57

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.

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(715): Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once. http://tfl.nu/y3bm

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.

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(479): Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep. http://tfl.nu/7jgb

Replies (2) Good night (1324) Bad night (453)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.

(701): View more from North Dakota

The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.

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(701): Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend. (701): The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer. http://tfl.nu/9cgs

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(763): View more from Minnesota

My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...

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(763): My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home... http://tfl.nu/n3b5

Replies (3) Good night (1544) Bad night (424)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.

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(336): No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine. http://tfl.nu/r6ac

Replies (1) Good night (252) Bad night (416)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?

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(480): Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night? http://tfl.nu/lw86

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(585): View more from New York

AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?

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(585): AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!? http://tfl.nu/66pr

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.

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(701): Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich. http://tfl.nu/pg0v

Replies (0) Good night (380) Bad night (183)
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(818): View more from California

I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room

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(818): I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room http://tfl.nu/ovpj

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