Texts From Last Night

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  (660): View more from Missouri

  And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.

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  (660): And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this. http://tfl.nu/if6q
  Replies (3) Good night (3166) Bad night (774)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory

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  (516): I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory http://tfl.nu/t9t2
  Replies (21) Good night (11179) Bad night (914)
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  (631): View more from New York

  This beer is not sobering me up at all

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  (631): This beer is not sobering me up at all http://tfl.nu/2fz8
  Replies (13) Good night (7905) Bad night (1338)
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  (365): View more from

  Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine

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  (365): Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine http://tfl.nu/mm7j
  Replies (13) Good night (4767) Bad night (990)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip

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  (703): drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip http://tfl.nu/b5at
  Replies (12) Good night (3093) Bad night (1188)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close

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  (978): I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close http://tfl.nu/huvz
  Replies (5) Good night (1482) Bad night (2323)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.

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  (979): Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/p1v5
  Replies (3) Good night (1835) Bad night (714)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.

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  (330): It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights. http://tfl.nu/79ia
  Replies (4) Good night (2052) Bad night (773)
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  (619): View more from California

  According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.

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  (619): According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night. http://tfl.nu/q1q9
  Replies (2) Good night (909) Bad night (485)
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  (418): View more from Quebec

  I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC

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  (418): I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC http://tfl.nu/grmc
  Replies (12) Good night (987) Bad night (1517)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"

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  (774): Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be" http://tfl.nu/8qrq
  Replies (0) Good night (635) Bad night (326)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.

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  (309): He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys. http://tfl.nu/x76x
  Replies (11) Good night (602) Bad night (965)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room

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  (403): I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room http://tfl.nu/v5e3
  Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (626)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep

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  (519): he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep http://tfl.nu/4w4n
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (192)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought

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  (406): 1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought http://tfl.nu/94t9
  Replies (2) Good night (315) Bad night (253)

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