can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
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Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
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We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE