I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
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You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog