she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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