i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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