I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
