We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
