He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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