yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
