I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
