then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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