my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize