Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
