out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
