Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
