she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
