I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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