I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
