Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize