That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I FOUND THE LEGS
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
