so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
