if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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