He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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