things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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