My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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