I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
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I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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