It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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