I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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