Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
What a dumb baby whore.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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