He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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