so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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