You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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