i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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