im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
