we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
