If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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