so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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