oh god the rape fog is back!
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
pray to the hookup gods
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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