Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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