my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
