Sry I called you an 8
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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