My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
