honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
